Filmfail.com

This week I handicap the 2010 Oscars, but it’s not like I needed to handicap The Academy Awards when they’re already so retarded, right? Right guys? Anyway, in this video I kidnap James Cameron, Kathryn Bigelow, Jason Reitman and Sandra Bullock…and what do they do? Start having sex in my closet. Great. You’d think that last thing that divorced people would do with each other is have sex. Well technically dying is the last thing they’d do. It’s really the last thing anyone would do. Woah. It just got mad existential up in here.

Share

Get Yourself Notified.

Share

Subscribe to the Youtube Page
Get updated via “Electronic Mail”
Be notified some OTHER way.

Regular visitors to filmfail.com know that I hate many things. Many many many many…things. While Valentine’s Day sits comfortably among those things I hate, Valentine’s Day the movie is vying for a pretty lofty spot on the list. The movie Valentine’s Day is basically just what we all hate about Valentine’s Day: attractive people pretending they’re happy for the 90 minutes they’re in contact with the outside world. Also, we have to deal with Ashton Kutcher’s bullshit notions like, “love is the only shocking act left on the planet.” There are tons of shocking acts left on the planet, like Paul Giamatti, for instance. Intrigued? You should be, fellow hater. You should be. OBSERVE!

Okay, I’d love to stop and chat, but I need to go reassess my life, because it seems that I have a Giamatti on my hands.

Dan

Do things!
filmfailblog@gmail.com
Click to pretend that I’m your friend!
Mah Youtube Page

Get Film Fail via Electronic Mail!

This week’s Trailer Trash is on When in Rome, with Kristen Bell. That idiom bothers me, because people always shorten it from “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,” and I get the inclination that they don’t even know the entire saying, and they only repeat it because they’ve heard so many other people say “when in Rome…” It’s a perfect example of why people shouldn’t take that advice, because if you just do things you see other people doing, then everyone ends up forgetting why we started doing it in the first place. So then people just continue doing it for no real reason, despite the fact that they think it’s kind of pointless, and before you know it, we have twitter. Speaking of which you can follow me at twitter.com/danrickmers. See what I did there? Great, you’re a genius. Now watch the video.

You know, I like you kids. If you were dating a girl named Beth, I wouldn’t kick you out of filmfail.com. Especially not if you’re a girl yourself. It’s a safe space.

Dan “Friend to Lesbians Dating Girls Named Beth” Rickmers

Do things!
filmfailblog@gmail.com
Click to pretend that I’m your friend!
Mah Youtube Page

Subscribe in a reader

Oh HAI, readers!
It’s New Year’s eve, the waning hours of the 2000’s, and I think it’s time we made the call. What’s the worst movie of this fail-ridden decade? Well, it’s no contest really. Tommy Wiseau’s THE ROOM is without a doubt the worst, campiest, yet still the most hilarious movie you’ll ever have the fortune/misfortune to see. It seems that only two of your fellow filmfailers knew this to be true prior to this video, and of course they have been given DUE RECOGNITION in the video. For the rest of you, I decree you must educate thine self. Observe!

Oh HAI, Trailer Trash!

Oh BAI, everyone!

Oh HAI, Links!
filmfailblog@gmail.com
Click to pretend that I’m your friend!
Mah Youtube Page

Subscribe in a reader

It’s time to feign authority and decree which movies are the worst of these past ten years. It’s a tough job, because there has been so much suckage, but I think One Missed Call really takes the cake. It has everything you wouldn’t want in a horror movie, and more. I actually watched this pathetic, awful excuse for a movie, and I CHALLENGE you to get through it without trying to kill yourself at least once. I tried multiple times, but it turned out like this. So, unfortunately, I lived through this movie and here is a gripping documentary of my struggle:

Okay, full disclosure: I really just like making scenes with people lying on top of each other look like sex scenes. That’s my big goal in life. Leave a comment right here, on this page, of what you think the funniest bad movie of the 2000’s was, and if you’re correct, it shall be the subject of next week’s TRAILER TRASH.

Quite Indubitably,
Sir Daniel Rick

Links to the Past
filmfailblog@gmail.com
Click to pretend that I’m your friend!
Mah Youtube Page

Subscribe in a reader