Dear John,
Here’s a video of me talking about your movie. Really I’m just making fun of it, but I like to call it a review sometimes, because then I imagine more people will find it in their sporadic google searches. Disregarding the fact that everyone who’s anyone ALREADY goes to the ends of the earth to watch these videos, I thought it might be nice to make it easier to find that way. I think a lot of sad, depressed women and even sadder, more depressed men will endeavor to see Dear John for an excuse to cry and eat chocolate to fill the crippling loneliness in their hearts. I’m cool with that, in fact I’d like it if you could videotape your tears and email them to me (your tears give me power), but I just think you should watch better movies while you do it. Better idea: watch this review while you do it. If anyone sends me a video of themselves crying while they’re watching this review, I’ll totally use it in next week’s Trailer Trash. I guess I kinda forgot I was pretending this was a letter to this “John” fool. You gonna cry about it?

Danny Ricks

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