Don't be fooled by the hipster glasses that I got, I'm still Jenny from the block.

Jennifer Lopez and her damn romantic comedies. The “got-knocked-up-the-day-before-I-met-mah-boi” story is a common one on Maury and Jerry Springer, but I guess they considered it movie-worthy because it’s happening to rich people this time. Rich people: they’re like you, but special!

In regards to my caption over on the left, I think that regardless of whether you’re fooled by said rocks that J-Lo got, she is literally the richest Latin American in Hollywood according to Forbes, so I’m going to go ahead and make the call that she might not be Jenny from the block anymore. When you’re the lead in a movie as whitewashed as “The Back Up Plan” is, then guess what: you don’t really come across as “sticking to your roots.” So by all means, keep your fancy perfumes and specialty lines of Chicken Lo Mein (J-Lo Mein), just don’t parade around like you’re in it for the little guy, Miss Lo. If that’s even your REAL name.

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